My Father's Death

After my mother died in 1974, my father came to live with us.  His eye sight was poor and I was always on edge when he was walking around the house for fear he would fall over one of the kids- 4 and 2 years old- or their toys.  He realized that living in a two story house with little children was not the safest environment so he agreed to go to a senior living center.

Later, he went into a nursing home.  He actually thrived in those environments.  Though he had physical issues, his mind was clear and alert.  On Feb 18, 1988, I got a call at work from the Home. He  had awakened, sat up in bed and then laid down and died. 

My parents did not have much money and by the time my father died, all their savings had been used so there was nothing to inherit.  They had sold their house years before and most of their possessions were sold or given away after my mother’s death.  As an only child, I had no one with whom to discuss matters but I knew from our discussions and my experience with my mother what he wanted. 

For me, the “stuff” of their lives was easily managed.  But for friends and other family members, the death of parents or spouses became nightmares.  Dealing with the traumatic fact of the death of a loved one is difficult enough.  When you have to make decisions about funerals, burials, unpaid bills, and a cyber-presence, life becomes more difficult.

Share your stories of dealing with the paperwork after the death of a loved one.  What information were you missing that could have made the task easier?  What lessons did you learn from the process? The more we discuss these issues, the more information we can share and learn from each other.

Image credit:  Tammy Dial Gray