New Year Assignments

Winter is a time in look inward.  The days are shorter, the weather (at least in the east) is cold, and being inside is more inviting.  So, what to do…. One good suggestion I came across is to get a binder and include: A financial asset list, a non-financial asset list (personal items that may be of value), computer passwords, credit card numbers, emergency contacts, estate planning documents and the location of your financial adviser and lawyer, funeral arrangements, health information (and this is super important if you take medication and have chronic conditions), insurance policies, and tax statements (or a note indicating the location of the previous year’s returns) and the name and phone number of the accountant. 

This may also be a time to take another look at your will, healthcare power of attorney and financial power of attorney.  Do you want to change beneficiaries?  Do you have new grandchildren or nephews and nieces?  Did you have a death in the family last year and what did you learn from that experience relative to your own financial situation? 

As you ponder the future, take a look back at the last year or even the last decade and marvel at your accomplishments.  Writing these things down with pen and paper instead of a computer can enhance the experience of patting yourself on the back.  The exercise of writing is very positive.  We all need pats on the back and sometimes we are the only one who will do it for ourselves. 

Cheers to your past accomplishments and future endeavors.  May you have smooth sailing ahead.  Happy 2020.

Death Rituals in Other Countries

If you are interested in thanatology (the study of death), I recommend the 2017 book, From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty.  It’s a fascinating account of death practices in parts of the US and in other countries.  I admit I was both fascinated and appalled by some of the rituals and at the same time, awed by the myriad ways people’s faith and customs direct their grief. 

There is no “best” way to die or to mourn; there is only the “best” way in the culture in which one lives.

Let me know if you read the book.  And if you are in Pittsburgh on December 12, 2019 please come to the Death Café at the Upper St. Clair Library at 7 PM.  Look in the archives for posts about Death Cafés or visit deathcafe.com.

Ashes, Now What

A story in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reaffirms the importance of talking to one’s family about end of life decisions.  I never gave this much thought until now.  When a person requests cremation, I assumed the family or designated person would either take the cremains in a container, make arrangements to bury the container, or spread the ashes in a designated place.  Nationally, in 2018, 15,000 containers were not picked up; that’s 1% of all cremations.  While the percentage is not high, funeral homes have boxes going way back…even for 40 years.  Some funeral homes may decide to bury the containers in a single grave after a specified period of time.

One solution may be to request payment from the family for burying the cremains and if the family claims the container, the family will be reimbursed.  Asking for a fee, according to one funeral home, has led to a decrease in abandoned cremains. 

There are no easy answers.  And family members who were deemed responsible for handling end of life wishes may themselves take ill or die before they can carry out their responsibilities.   So, it is important for us, as responsible citizens, to make our wishes known to our family, including what we want done with our ashes.

Thoughts?   Please share and start a conversation in your own community.