Almost every
time I think I have things figured out, I learn about a new situation that
either negates or reinforces a position.
Recently I attended the funeral of a friend. Only a few months before, I attended the
funeral of her husband. When spouses die
within a short timeframe, it is known as the “widowhood effect”. Scientifically, it can be referred to as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, aka “broken-heart
syndrome”.
The adult
children introduced me to their parents’ lawyer and estate planner. We exchanged pleasantries and lamented on the
children’s sadness of losing both parents in such a short timeframe. She indicated the estates were “a mess”
because neither parent discussed the will. The children and the wife did not
act quickly on the father’s estate. I am
guessing that the bulk of the estate was left to the wife but since the wife
had not acted on settling the estate, and now she has passed away, the lawyer
has to untangle it all.
The advice
most estate planners give to the beneficiaries is to take one’s time in
settling the estate- take time before putting the house on the market and
moving to an apartment; take time to sell collectables; contact life insurance
companies immediately. But is there a
problem with “too much time”? And in
this case, when one spouse dies quickly after another, there is a problem.
The attorney
indicated that a major factor in the “mess” was the lack of communication
between the parents and the adult children.
Apparently some of the circumstances could have been mitigated if the
parents had discussed the will and arrangements with their kids, especially by
giving the adult children the name of the lawyer.
Bottom
line: Don’t leave your
kids/friends/beneficiaries uninformed.
Have the conversation about end of life issues including finances and
the “stuff” of life. And be sure to let
the heirs know the name of the attorney/ finance person. And talk to your estate attorney about a Plan
B in the event your beneficiary dies before the estate is settled.
If you have
not received a copy of my Vital Information Form, please email me and I will
send it along as a word document.
