LOVE

A shout out to Julian Gray and Frank Petrich, certified elder law attorneys, who write a column in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.   In the Dec. 24, 2017 issue their focus was on the 12 days of Christmas and a playful but serious view of planning ahead.

The main theme of the column was love and caring.  When you love someone, whether s/he’s a partner, friend, spouse, or child you need to talk about plans in the event you become incapacitated.   Where are the important papers?  Do I want lifesaving medical intervention even if the outcome puts me in a less than desirable state?  Do I want to be an organ donor?  Who do I want to be responsible for making medical decisions if I can’t make them for myself?   Where do I want to be buried?  Do I want to be cremated?   Who are the beneficiaries of my insurance, my dwelling, my financial portfolio?  Endless questions.  And these questions need to be answered both for the questioner and for the respondent. 

A good way to start off a holiday conversation may be, “now that we are all together, I want to take a few minutes and tell you why I have begun planning and I want to hear your thoughts about what steps you have taken for your future plans.”  It’s all about love and responsibility and yes, it can be about money, too, when you want to learn all the ways to protect your money for your loved ones.

I promised my blogging community that in December I would begin reviewing photos and identifying people in pictures because my kids would not know the names.   Yes, I did start.  And quickly I realized I will need a long time to complete my project.  So I am working on it.  My plan is to scan the photos and then identify the event and people and make photo books for each of my kids.  The original goal was to complete the project by year’s end.  Not going to happen.  New goal- May, 2018!

So check out the Elder Law column in the December 24, 2017 issue of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (post-gazette.com) and search for The Conversation Project (https://theconversationproject.org/)  about how to start The Conversation.

Have a safe and happy holiday season. 

Onward to 2018….

POLST

I continue to be amazed about what I don’t know. 

I recently read about a man who had an advanced directive on file at his hospital; however, no one noticed it in his file when he was admitted.  The patient was unable to speak for himself, the son wanted life-saving measures for his father (father and son never discussed scenarios) and for two weeks none of the medical personal saw the form.  The father had medical procedures and other unwanted treatment and was sent back to the nursing home from whence he came.

What I didn’t know is that the Advanced Directive is not a physician’s order.  I should have known this because a physician hasn’t signed it. Of all the many surgeries we have had in my family, the only question asked is – Do you have a Living Will?  No one asks to look at it, to review it with the patient, to ascertain if the patient understands the form.  And from some of the comments in the article I noted above, the Advanced Directive is placed in the person’s chart or scanned in and then gets lost among the myriad of test results and physician notes.   

The second piece of information I learned is people with serious illness need an Advanced Directive or Living Will and a POLST.  The latter is a form signed by a physician with very specific directions.  First responders are required to give assistance unless the patient has a POLST, Physician Orders for Life-sustaining Treatment.  About half the states in the US has a POLST Program and the other half is developing one.  Visit www.polst.org for specific information about your state.

The bottom line, and my mantra, is talk with your family so that the younger generation knows what you want regarding end of life decisions and you know what they want in the event of their own unexpected crisis.

Nothing beats talking to another human being about these difficult topics.