Tuesday, July 31, 2018

SECRETS


The Elder Law column in the June 24, 2018 issue of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette was devoted to the lack of communication between parents and adult children or between adults and friends.  The statistic quoted was “it’s been estimated that as many as one third of over 75 million people who are between 52 and 70 are without children.  And some people don’t fully trust their children ...including their spouses.”  Sad.  So whom do you trust?  A lawyer?  Then who is responsible for telling the lawyer you are incapacitated or dead? 

These are some of the questions outlined in the article:
Who are your doctors?
Where is your list of prescriptions in case of an emergency?
Where is your medical history?
Where is your list of contacts (personal, professional, organizations)?
Who has access to your digital and hard copy records?
Where is your will and other estate plans?
Have you named someone to act on your behalf and didn’t tell them about this role?
Have you made funeral arrangements?  Where is the paperwork?
Where is your living will?  Have you discussed your decisions with those who will have to make the ultimate decisions?

And here’s another secret to decide on—family history.  Do you tell your children they are adopted?  That they were conceived via a sperm or egg donor?  That their mother/father is not their biological parent because or rape or an affiar?  Whew.  Major secrets.  And this can be enlightening and devastating at the same time.  Feeling loved and lied to at the same time may be the foundation for quality discussion, especially before a loved one and the one who told the lie dies.  I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer in this case though understanding one’s heritage and genetics in today’s world is important. 

My blog is about putting all the information in one place and giving that location to a trusted family member or friend.

What are your thoughts?

No comments:

Post a Comment