The Power of Attorney Discussion

 

An article in the local newspaper (yes, I still read a hands-on-newspaper) several months ago discussed guardianship which can be a life saving measure or a major problem.

Per the article by Julian Gray and Frank Petrich, “a guardianship is a court-appointed assignment of a surrogate decision-maker for the benefit of a person who has lost the ability to make informed decisions.”  The appointed person can be a stranger and you have probably read about individuals who have assumed a guardianship and then stolen assets from the very person the guardian was to protect.

If an individual has not planned, in advance, to appoint an “agent”, and the court makes the appointment, the relationship could continue for years while the person is incapacitated.  However, and this however is important, “the use of a power of attorney document generally avoids the need for a court-monitored guardianship.

I’ve talked about powers of attorney in previous blog posts.  Creating a medical/health care power of attorney and a financial power of attorney puts you in the driver’s seat.  You can change it any time without going to court.  So why don’t people create wills and powers of attorney?  The article gives 4 reasons: 1) People aren’t aware of the importance of these documents. 2)  People do not want to pay attorney fees.  3) People don’t have a trusted family member or friend to assume the role. 4) People don’t want to think about the future or about the possibility of future disability.

Bottom line:  plan, plan, plan.  Investigate these documents on the internet, contact a Bar Association in your state for a referral to an attorney, and talk to friends and family.

Comments?  I want to hear from you.

 

LOVE

A shout out to Julian Gray and Frank Petrich, certified elder law attorneys, who write a column in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.   In the Dec. 24, 2017 issue their focus was on the 12 days of Christmas and a playful but serious view of planning ahead.

The main theme of the column was love and caring.  When you love someone, whether s/he’s a partner, friend, spouse, or child you need to talk about plans in the event you become incapacitated.   Where are the important papers?  Do I want lifesaving medical intervention even if the outcome puts me in a less than desirable state?  Do I want to be an organ donor?  Who do I want to be responsible for making medical decisions if I can’t make them for myself?   Where do I want to be buried?  Do I want to be cremated?   Who are the beneficiaries of my insurance, my dwelling, my financial portfolio?  Endless questions.  And these questions need to be answered both for the questioner and for the respondent. 

A good way to start off a holiday conversation may be, “now that we are all together, I want to take a few minutes and tell you why I have begun planning and I want to hear your thoughts about what steps you have taken for your future plans.”  It’s all about love and responsibility and yes, it can be about money, too, when you want to learn all the ways to protect your money for your loved ones.

I promised my blogging community that in December I would begin reviewing photos and identifying people in pictures because my kids would not know the names.   Yes, I did start.  And quickly I realized I will need a long time to complete my project.  So I am working on it.  My plan is to scan the photos and then identify the event and people and make photo books for each of my kids.  The original goal was to complete the project by year’s end.  Not going to happen.  New goal- May, 2018!

So check out the Elder Law column in the December 24, 2017 issue of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (post-gazette.com) and search for The Conversation Project (https://theconversationproject.org/)  about how to start The Conversation.

Have a safe and happy holiday season. 

Onward to 2018….

Organizing for a Disaster

A friend who lives in California told me about her daughter who was asked by the elementary school principal to write individual letters to her children and to include a family picture so that in the event of a disaster, the school administration could give the letters to the children for reassurance, to help calm them down, to allay their fears.  I was saddened to hear that administrators are put in the position of having to think about this.  

The conversation comes at a time when the US is focused on natural disasters- Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria; Earthquakes; Wild Fires.  As I read about people discussing their quick evacuation from their homes, I am wondering what they take with them.  I don’t live in a flood plain so I have not had to ever worry about evacuation for a natural disaster.  Do I have a plan?  What would I take with me?  How would I leave my valuables?  The answers are unique to our individual situations.  Heavy duty plastic bags are looking mighty good to me right now.

When I was in school, the building was safe.  No one carried a gun, we didn’t have security guards.  In fact, students acted as “crossing guards” and students were called upon to escort guests around the building.  Though, come to think of it, we who are of a certain age can remember the bomb drills- a bell would ring and we would have to crouch under our desk and be quiet.  The teacher would turn out the lights and pull the window blinds down, if we had them. 

These drills didn’t bother me.  After all, I was in the greatest country in the world and no country in their right mind would dare drop a bomb on the US.  We also didn’t have up- to- the- minute knowledge of disasters, we only saw the news at night if we were allowed to stay up that late and most kids I knew did not read the newspaper.  Wars and natural disasters were not part of our lives in a real way.

Not so today.  We are prepped for disasters.  We have time to think about impending crises.  What would you take with you if you had to flee your home?  While I have a small safe for my important documents, I am now thinking I should put it in a large plastic bag in the event of a flood or tornado. 

I have my list with important phone numbers and important people.  Most people do not have their paperwork organized.  What is stopping you?  Take the time during a calm period to organize your papers.  I should say “schedule a time during a calm period to organize your papers” –this is your call to action!

For me, by mid-October, I will have made a copy of my important papers and a copy of important pictures; I will place them in a heavy duty plastic bag so that I can quickly grab it if I needed to leave my home quickly.  What is your action step?

What Are Your Goals?

We can look at this question from many angles.  Are we training for a competition?  Are we trying to lose or gain weight?  Do we need to choose a career? And this question is also relatable to health care. 

An article in The Washington Post by Dr. Mitch Kaminshi from March 9, 2015 discusses this question from the patient’s point of view.  The medical community generally wants to solve the problem for the patient.  The patient may really want to be able to reach a level of quality of life that is important to him/her.

The same goes for thinking about how we want to leave our “stuff” to our heirs.  What are our goals?  Do we want to leave our papers in order?  Have all the important information readily accessible?  Or do we want our children or friends/ family to have a difficult time finding papers, names, and phone numbers in order to settle our estate?  Do we want to allocate our money in a specific way or do we want to leave it to the state?  Do we want people arguing over our care or do we want to have our wishes carried out if we are incapacitated? 

Each of us has an idea of what we want and too often no one asks us for our thoughts.  So tell your family you want them to have a difficult time finding all your papers when the situation calls for it so they will get off your back about getting a will or organizing your papers.  Or tell them you are taking action and getting your affairs in order and insist they should do the same.  Use my form or find another one as a start.

What are YOUR goals?  

Year End--New Resolutions

The holiday season is upon us with its endless sales, recipes, invitations, decorations and music.  What I don’t see or hear about is PLANNING.   How do we accomplish what is expected of us by others and of ourselves?  We always hear about people who wait until the last minute to do what they have to do.  And, yes, the situation usually turns out ok.  But what about those spontaneous events that throw us off our course?  Do you have to go to the convenience store to buy a quick present or do you shop in September to avoid the crowds?  This is not a discourse on which way is best.  You can weigh the pros and cons of each scenario. 

Planning is so necessary and the real purpose of this blog.   Families who lose out are those who have tragic accidents befall them.  Most young people don’t plan for their death.  They don’t keep their important papers in one spot because they don’t think they have important papers. 

As the year ends, I challenge you to schedule an appointment with yourself to locate your important papers, to complete either my Vital Information Form or find another template that will work for you.  There is no time like NOW.  Do it.   If you can’t locate the Form, email me.  Make this one of your resolutions and keep it.

Start 2017 with a feeling of accomplishment.  While this is a small accomplishment in the scheme of everyday living, it is a great accomplishment for family and friends who have to deal with the aftermath of death.

I have scheduled time to review my Form this week.  With so many password changes,  a scheduled update for my Form is in my future.

Planning for life and death are not mutually exclusive. 

Enjoy your holidays....

RUFADAA

No the title does not have typos nor is it a word in another language.  It is an acronym for – are you ready? - the Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act.  That’s a mouthful but a topic for discussion.  You see the word “digital” so you know it has something to do with our online presence.  If you have shared your passwords and accounts with someone or have at least written down the info for your heirs to find, you may not be concerned about it.  But, if you have chosen not to pay attention to your digital life, then you must read this.  According to:
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/say-youre-dead-who-gets-access-to-your-online-accounts/, 20 states have enacted RUFADAA which will govern how your family/executor will be able to gain access to your online accounts if you die or become disabled.  It is anticipated that by the end of 2017, all states will have enacted this law.

I wrote about Facebook’s Legacy Program in the past (see Security Settings in Facebook) and check out Google, Yahoo, etc. for info about their regulations if you die or become incapacitated.  So even if you have a will or power of attorney, your digital life may just hang out there without anyone being able to either close it down or view it.  Think of all the photos that are stored on a site.  Think about online bank accounts.  If no one knows they are there and if no one has access to the passwords, then there could be problems for the family. 

An attorney quoted in the CBS article suggested the power of attorney document be amended to include information about digital access.  Yes, this is confusing.  Yes, you may not think your online presence is so important and yes, you don’t think anyone in your family would want access to your online life; however, what we think about today may change so drastically in the future.  When Pennsylvania passes this law- and it’s pending- I am going to contact my attorney to find out what documents I have to update. 

If you found this post helpful, please let me know.

Deliberate Steps

The following is a summary of an article by Miriam Goodman from nextavenue.org:

If you have been chosen to be the executor/executrix, you may need to get a tax ID number for the estate.  Contact the IRS or go to their website.  This is why it is so helpful if you know in advance that you will have this responsibility.  Hopefully, if you have had the conversation where you learned that you will be responsible, you know where the bank accounts and credit cards are located, whether or not the funeral is prepaid, where the burial plot is located, and the names of the lawyer and investment personsfinancial manager

You will also need a number of death certificates to satisfy the paperwork for banks, insurance companies and the like.  People have told me they needed 30 copies while others only needed 10.  You have to know your situation so you don’t have to wait for additional certificates if needed.  I didn’t know one needs a death certificate to have mail forwarded.  Makes sense, though.

The executor needs to check bank statements quickly so that any automatic deposits and withdrawals can be stopped. 

Another step, and they are not in any particular order, is to notify Social Security and to remember to ask for the lump sum survivors benefit which is given to help with funeral expenses.  Don’t get excited—it’s a drop in the bucket but a drop here and a drop there can add up to a puddle.

If it is applicable, notify the Veterans Administration, too.

And remember, the executor is doing all of the above while he is in mourning.  It’s a sad time yet one that is filled with paperwork and details. 

You can read more about this in Scott Taylor Smith’s When Someone Dies: the Practical Guide to the Logistics of Death.

If you found this blog helpful, let me know.

LOVE

I attended a lecture last week and the speaker talked about the death of his father.   The speaker is now the same age as his father was when the father died.  He said he was going to get all his affairs in order with instructions for his family and he was doing it out of love.  He also said- and this is what caught my attention- that when it comes time for his family to follow those instructions, they will do it out of love, too.  My focus has been on the convenience, the lessening the load for the family.  I overlooked the most important aspect of family or friendship- love. 

Although the speaker was in his early 70’s, the importance of getting  one’s papers in order and providing instructions for what should be done after death is not limited to older folks.  Young people and middle aged individuals should think about how much they love their family and friends and then out of love, not obligation, takes steps to ease the burden for those left behind. 

 

If you have not downloaded my information template, please email me and I will send you a copy.   You can send me a message in the comment section below.  

Until next time…

LifeLong Learning

Want to talk to a lawyer about a will, advanced directives, power of attorney, etc.? Check out the Osher LifeLong Learning Institute classes on Elder Law. I attended a series several years ago and it fueled my desire to start this blog.  Carol Sikov Gross, Esquire (http://www.sikovandlove.com/) led the class and her handouts were most informative.  The discussion and the individual situations of the students- there were 10 of us- were eye opening.  If you have the opportunity to attend an informational class, seriously think about it.  Well worth the time. 

I remember a woman who was interested in donating her body to science after her death.  It was obvious from the difficulty she had walking that she was experiencing significant medical problems.  She worked all of her life in executive positions and she knew how to take charge of things.  I guess she was in the “information gathering” stage.  And I frequently think of her and wonder what happened to her.  I’ll bet she had all her papers organized, her will and advanced directives completed.  She impressed me as a “doer” not just a talker and thinker. 

I’m still working on my “to do” list.  This isn’t for the faint of heart.  Gathering information, thinking about the future can be overwhelming.  Breaking tasks down into small manageable bites is the best way to motivate myself.  For example, I could have said to myself:  “Self- you need to clean up the office.”  Instead, I said, “Self- you need to clean off your desk.”  Yes, it took me 2 days because of interruptions but the job was accomplished and now I can find things more easily. 

Tell me stories about your family and end of life situations.  Let’s share and learn from each other.

Face to Face or via the Internet

Leslie is a hard working psychologist, wife and mother.  She also has a rare autoimmune disease that currently requires a monthly infusion which is done in a hospital.  She actually carries her living will in her purse at all times.  Why?  Because she has educated herself about the progression of her disease and she wants to be in control of her situation.

Leslie told me about a program she has been using for over 20 years-- “Legal Shield”.  I’m not recommending this or any products or services; however since someone I respect uses the company, I thought I would pass on the info.  If you have read my past posts, you know I use a local lawyer.  Leslie, however, uses this company for her will, advanced directives, financial power of attorney, etc.  Check it out at www.legalshield.com.

Getting back to the advanced directives…I recently scheduled shoulder surgery and was asked to bring in my advanced directives.  The intake clerk scanned my document into my medical record.  Take note—even though it is now part of my record at a large medical center, I have been told that I need to bring my advanced directives in each time I have a procedure or surgery because- get this- frequently, the staff cannot locate the document on the computer!  We, as consumers, have to be on top of things.

So keeping a copy of advanced directives in your purse may not be a bad idea.  Not sure where a man would keep his; perhaps on a flash drive on his key ring.

Have you written a will?  What made you do it or what is stopping you from doing it?  Share your thoughts.  If you are reading this on your phone, click to read the post on the web and then you will have space to respond.

Vital Information Form

It occurred to me that some of my subscribers did not download the Vital Information Form so I decided to devote a post to it.

The form is to help you get your information in one location.  Some people have a box, a notebook, a safe.  Whatever you have for your family, congratulations.  This form may spark new ideas for your own personal situation.

A few new subject lines are in this version.  

Vital Information for:                                                              Date:

(To be kept with important documents in a safe place, the location of which should be shared with a trusted person)

Copy and paste this into aWord Document so it can be customized to meet your needs which may change over time.  This form can be as long or as short as you prefer. Remember, however, this document can provide critical information to your family in order to relieve them of searching for important documents and phone numbers during a stressful time.  Think of this as a map- it doesn’t provide the nitty gritty information- only directions to the location. Topics should not be deleted; skip over them if they are not pertinent at this moment in time. This is a fluid document that should be updated annually- maybe on your birthday, anniversary or tax day.

Social Security #: 

Attorney: 

Financial Planner: 

Accountant:

Insurance agent(s), policy numbers (including health insurance):

Investments: names and account numbers: 

Bank accounts:  How titled?  Account numbers for checking, savings, credit union, MAC card      (include phone number if known)

Credit/ Debit card names, numbers and Customer Service phone number: 

Burial Information:  plot location, clergy, obituary information, charity requests, funeral home, other thoughts, e.g. clothing, prayers, etc.: 

Name and phone number of church/synagogue:

Information I want on my tombstone: 

Are you a member of a burial or memorial society that may make special arrangements for funeral/burial ceremony- e.g., military honor guard?  Which one(s):

Combinations and location of safes: 

Name of financial institution of a safety deposit box and location of key:

Names, addresses, emails of people to be notified: 

Location of warranties, instruction booklets: 

Location of tax records:

Location of deeds, vehicle titles:

Location of installment books or contracts and payment dates and company phone number:

Location of honorable discharge papers and VA claim number: 

Name and phone number of newspaper delivery person:

Location of Will, Power of Attorney:

Recurrent household costs, eg, landscaper, snow removal, etc. (names and phone numbers):

Utilities (company name, phone number, account number):

Garage code:

Location of the mail box key:

Answering Machine number:

Digital

Password to get onto the computer:

Passwords for email accounts: 

Passwords for social media accounts: 

Facebook has a legacy feature:  Go to More, Privacy Shortcuts, More Settings, Security,    Legacy Contact

Passwords for all sites or the password manager user name and password:

Automatic bill paying--names and account numbers and dates when bill will appear in email or be directly paid by the bank: 

Pets

Pets name(s):

Food Preferences: 

Veterinarian and phone number: 

Medical issues/ Medications (location of medications and food):

Name of person(s)/ organization who will care for pets:

Medical History

Write down your medical history and that of your parents, siblings and first degree relatives (uncles, aunts, first cousins) if you want your children to have access to this information.

Plants/ Gardening/ automatic sprinkling system

Write down unique instructions about your plants and the schedule for your sprinkler (if applicable)

History/stories about family, art, jewelry, household items.

Reviewing my own will

After 8 years it was time to review my own will, financial and health care power of attorney.  So off to the lawyer, Dale Frayer (http://www.frayerlaw.com), I went.  A quick review, a few changes, getting some questions answered, and I am feeling so much better about my future.  The next task is to talk with my family and as they are all over the country, we will do it via a computer video chat.

The most important takeaway from this experience is the Conversation with a capital “C”.  I talked with my husband and my lawyer and soon with my kids about how I want the future to look.  There are no guarantees in life; however, I am trying to cover as many of the bases as I can think of.  And I invite you to share your experiences; we can only benefit from others’ stories.

I also made a decision to review my will, etc. in five years unless a life changing situation occurs earlier.

All the paperwork is not only for taking care of my family after my death, it is also for taking care of them if I become incapacitated.   Too often, people forget about the latter situation.  So if you don’t have a will, financial and health care power of attorney, look into getting them.  There are plenty of online templates- just be sure you select one that will work in the state in which you live.  Or, better yet, find an attorney who specializes in estate planning.

Image: Ken_Mayer

What a Mess!

“What a mess” Susie kept saying when we were talking about the chaos she found after her sister’s death.  Important papers all over the house, unpaid bills, unopened mail stacked in piles on the dining room table.  Kathleen, single, aged 60 and living with mom, had been ill for many years but she seemed to be managing.  Then one day she died in her sleep.  Kathleen was divorced with one grown son.  She was also a loaner and even though she was living with mom, Kathleen kept to herself. 

Mom, 90, struggles to get through the day- physically and emotionally. 

So Susie is left with the responsibility of cleaning up the mess.  She knew there had been a will but had no idea where it was or who the lawyer was.  She called the ex-husband and fortunately, he had a copy.  The funeral home needed the social security number; Susie couldn’t find it.  Mom thought she knew it however she provided an incorrect number which was not discovered until 2 months later when social security denied the burial benefit. 

Though there were no assets to speak of, the hassle of going through bags and bags of mail, contacting people who were owed money and shutting down bank accounts was very stressful.   The aggravation would have been mitigated if Kathleen had taken the responsibility of putting all her important papers in one spot and letting her sister know which box contained crucial information.

It’s been almost a year since Kathleen died and finally all the paperwork has been completed.  A harsh lesson for Susie who is now in the process of getting her own information together so that her husband and children will not have to deal with “a mess”.

If you have not completed the Vital Information Form because you do not have a will, financial power of attorney or health care power of attorney, start today.  Talk to your friends about an attorney or go on line to find forms for these documents.  Make an appointment with yourself to do this.

Image:  flicker.com/photos/readingmytealeaves/