Evacuations

With news headlines of evacuations and impending flooding and snow storms in the not too distant future, I am rethinking my emergency plan.

I have had several gallons of water stored in the basement for several years.  Is it still safe to drink? 

According to a quick google search, the water, if unopened, is safe to drink even beyond the expiration date.  But don’t take my word, google it yourself because there are trade-offs and you have to do what’s best for you.

Here are some other tips from Consumer Reports if you have to evacuate: 

-Pre-Pack a “go bag” – meds, food, water, plastic bags including size appropriate sized bags for electronics, flashlight, phone/ charger, laptop or tablet/ charger, battery-powered or hand cranked powered radio, car charger, power strip, cash in small bills, and a flask drive with copies of insurance policies and other financial information.

.       -Charge your electronics before you leave and of course, remember to pack both the device and the charger.

3       -Conserve electronic power- decrease brightness on the screen, go into a battery-saver mode, turn off WiFi on the road.

4       -Back up your files to the cloud or to a physical hard drive before you leave.

5      - Establish a social media plan as a meet up place for the family.  For example, Facebook or Twitter.  GroupMe or What’s App. 

6       -Set up an ICE function on the phone for emergency contacts.  (I’ve talked about this in a previous blog.)

7       -911 continues to be a viable emergency service though it can get overwhelmed.  If you are on hold, continue to wait because once you hang up and call back, you “go to the back of the line”, so to speak.

.       -If you have time, take photos or videos of the rooms in your house- open drawers and closets, too.  Come insurance claim time, this documentation will come in handy.

9       -Take the time to move outdoor furniture, plants and toys to a protected area.  Think about what items on your property could become a missile with high winds and then store these things appropriately. 

.        -Brace every opening- not just sand bags to prevent water from getting in, find something to brace the garage door.  When the calm air inside meets the whirlwind outside, a depressurization can occur and the house can collapse.

1   -Close all interior doors to reduce the overall pressure on the roof.

.      -Elevate all appliances

1    -Roll area rugs and stand them vertically, otherwise they act as sponges.

.     - If you can safely do it, turn off the water and electric power to your home if you have to evacuate.

The Department of Homeland Security‘s web page has more information about handling evacuations:  go to https://www.dhs.gov/how-do-i/prepare-my-family-disaster, and click on Start Here.

SECRETS

The Elder Law column in the June 24, 2018 issue of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette was devoted to the lack of communication between parents and adult children or between adults and friends.  The statistic quoted was “it’s been estimated that as many as one third of over 75 million people who are between 52 and 70 are without children.  And some people don’t fully trust their children ...including their spouses.”  Sad.  So whom do you trust?  A lawyer?  Then who is responsible for telling the lawyer you are incapacitated or dead? 

These are some of the questions outlined in the article:

Who are your doctors?

Where is your list of prescriptions in case of an emergency?

Where is your medical history?

Where is your list of contacts (personal, professional, organizations)?

Who has access to your digital and hard copy records?

Where is your will and other estate plans?

Have you named someone to act on your behalf and didn’t tell them about this role?

Have you made funeral arrangements?  Where is the paperwork?

Where is your living will?  Have you discussed your decisions with those who will have to make the ultimate decisions?

And here’s another secret to decide on—family history.  Do you tell your children they are adopted?  That they were conceived via a sperm or egg donor?  That their mother/father is not their biological parent because or rape or an affiar?  Whew.  Major secrets.  And this can be enlightening and devastating at the same time.  Feeling loved and lied to at the same time may be the foundation for quality discussion, especially before a loved one and the one who told the lie dies.  I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer in this case though understanding one’s heritage and genetics in today’s world is important. 

My blog is about putting all the information in one place and giving that location to a trusted family member or friend.

What are your thoughts?

Write Your Own Obituary

A few months ago an article appeared in the local newspaper describing the author’s decision to write her own obituary.  This process is related to an ethical will since the writer must delve deep into his/her own psyche and decide what is relevant to discuss.  The author had some funny stories about her early life as well as stories about her professional life.  While she published it in a newspaper, she also made a copy and put it with her important papers so that her family would find it and use it when the time came.  Note:  The author is probably middle aged and will have many years to rethink her words.

 She mentioned she did not want a photo with her obit.  While pictures are eye catching when scanning the obits in the paper (yes, I still read a hard copy of the newspaper) I have also indicated to my family that I do not want a photo to appear.  If I were to select a picture of myself from BG (before grey), my grandchildren and maybe someday, great grandchildren, would not recognize me.  And if I were to select a picture AG (after grey), I would look old and not the person I have in my mind as who I am. 

The idea of writing one’s obituary is intriguing.  I’ve heard the exercise is used in some writing classes.  It would be an interesting conversation to sit down with family and friends and create one.  What do others remember or value about you?  Do I have the courage to do this?  No, I don’t think so…yet.  As I get older, I get more daring!  What about you? 

Photo: Robert of Fairfax 

Digital Will

We all know about wills and power of attorneys; we don’t all know about ethical wills and digital wills.  I’ve blogged about ethical wills and today I want to draw your attention to a digital will.

Many of the points discussed in an online article are already in my template.  Here’s what Ken Colburn of Data Doctors wrote on April 5, 2018—

.                Make a list of your accounts and devices

               Write down passwords for sites and for devices.

              If you have a website, write down the passwords and any identifying info needed to access the site

4              Assign someone to be responsible for the accounts, website and devices.  This may be one person or several.  You can also include your wishes about what to do with the website or account. 

5.            Assigning someone to monitor your email account is critical.  Just think of the amount of mail you receive daily.  While most of it could be considered “junk”, I’ll bet there are some that would be important for your heirs.

6              Google has an Inactive Account Manager.  I was able to go into settings and select a manager if my account was to be inactive.  Https://goo.gl/sVJgTj.  I went to Personal Info & Privacy, Control your Contents and then Assign an Account Trustee.   Perhaps other systems have something similar.

7              Facebook also has a legacy contact.  I set up a contact last year.  You can search on Facebook for “Memorialization Request”.  The individual being memorialized must appoint a legacy.  To do this, follow these instructions:

1.     Click  in the top right of Facebook and select Settings

2.     Click Manage Account

3.     Type in a friend's name and click Add

4.     To let your friend know they're now your legacy contact, click Send

All this info is great- if we take action.  Otherwise it is merely an exercise in procrastination.

How are you going to take action?  Share…

Death Cafe in PIttsburgh

Several weeks ago my local library and I hosted a Death Café- an opportunity to talk about death in a safe and respectful setting- and eat cake and drink coffee.

I blogged about the concept many months ago when I attended a session in a neighboring community.  It was an eye opening and uplifting experience and I left that meeting with the intention of doing one locally.  The librarian who is responsible for programming at my library was intrigued and agreed to help.  And help he did.  He created a great press release and marketing material for the library’s Facebook page and e-newsletter.   I was delighted with 38 attendees.   Many expressed an interest in attending future Death Cafes.  With the encouragement of the librarian, we will set up another one- in a larger space- for the fall.  We broke up into 4 groups and each group talked about something different. 

If you are intrigued, google deathcafe.com.  Maybe you want to connect with your local library and plan one.  There’s even a Death Cafe Pittsburgh Facebook group among other Death Café Facebook groups around the world.   Death Café started in 2011 in England because the founder and his mother didn’t have a place to talk about death so they decided to change the model.   This seems to be the reason for lots of grassroots activities…change. 

A few days ago I shared my experience with some friends and one of them, an astute businessman, said he didn’t want to talk about death because “when it comes, it comes.”  I’m sure he has a will and financial power of attorney but does he have a medical power of attorney?  Does his wife and adult children know what his wishes are if he is unable to make medical decisions for himself?  He didn’t want to talk about it and the subject was dropped.

The discomfort of talking about the “what ifs” needs to be balanced with the chaos of what might happen if there are no contingency plans.  That’s why I believe in talking about the uncomfortable.  Keeping secrets, burying my head in the sand and ignoring facts is selfish, in my opinion.  What do you think?

Swimming with the Sharks

I’m currently reading The Rainbow Comes and Goes by Anderson Cooper and Gloria Vanderbilt.  It’s conversations between the news reporter, Anderson Cooper, and his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt who is an actress, artist and fashion designer.  One statement popped out for me.  Anderson is writing about his work ethic and his desire for adventure.  He talks about sharks and their need to almost continuously move forward in order to breathe.  He imagines himself “a shark gliding through dark, silent seas.”

Why did this resonate with me?  Maybe because I consider myself a forward thinker, a person who is constantly looking for what lies ahead.  In dragonboating (google the word if it is unfamiliar to you), we are coached to look to the finish line when we practice so it is automatic when we race.  Most life coaches talk about goal setting to help their clients make behavioral changes.  When we stand still for long periods, we are not working toward our goals. 

Yes, we need quiet time to assess, to plan and to evaluate.  But not too long...action is part of the planning.

Organizing, decluttering, cleaning the nooks and crannies of a room, purging clothes and food that is outdated and reassessing the important stuff:  will, healthcare and financial powers of attorney, are all necessary to move forward.    Confession- I found some serious dust bunnies in a corner of a seldom used room during spring cleaning. 

What are you cleaning, organizing?  What can you give away?  Share….

Swedish Death Cleaning

Maybe because I’m tired of the snow and cold, I’m thinking about spring and the inevitable Spring Cleaning.  Or maybe because I’m seeing “Spring Cleaning” tips on magazine covers and on Facebook, I’m thinking about it.  I’m thinking so hard that I decided to postpone my scheduled cleaning activity so I can write this blog!!  That’s called procrastination.

In reality, I saw a post on the NextAvenue.org blog and an article in the AARP magazine on Swedish Death Cleaning.  Döstädning is the Swedish word for Death Cleaning or decluttering your living space while you are still alive. 

One of the more original thoughts in the articles was to get rid of diaries, journals and the like if they contain information that might cause loved ones to be hurt by the words.   And in today’s society, at least in the US, younger people do not want the family heirlooms- grandma’s silverware, Uncle Joe’s collection of cigar bands, records or tapes but no machine to play them on, and so on.  Serious death cleaning involves getting rid of clothing, furniture, keepsakes that one doesn’t need to live out the years s/he has left. 

To tie this all together, I am washing windows and floors, shredding old papers, cleaning cabinets especially in the kitchen and going through clothing.   I will get exercise from the cleaning, and I will toss out dated food.  Charities will get the clothes that no longer “bring me joy”.  I will be lighter.   My mind will be open to new ideas as I clear out the old ideas.  It’s all good!  I’m not labeling this as “Death Cleaning”, rather it is Spring Cleaning.

Join me this spring in decluttering.  Let me know your methods and techniques.  Love the microfiber cloths!