Death Cafe in PIttsburgh

Several weeks ago my local library and I hosted a Death Café- an opportunity to talk about death in a safe and respectful setting- and eat cake and drink coffee.

I blogged about the concept many months ago when I attended a session in a neighboring community.  It was an eye opening and uplifting experience and I left that meeting with the intention of doing one locally.  The librarian who is responsible for programming at my library was intrigued and agreed to help.  And help he did.  He created a great press release and marketing material for the library’s Facebook page and e-newsletter.   I was delighted with 38 attendees.   Many expressed an interest in attending future Death Cafes.  With the encouragement of the librarian, we will set up another one- in a larger space- for the fall.  We broke up into 4 groups and each group talked about something different. 

If you are intrigued, google deathcafe.com.  Maybe you want to connect with your local library and plan one.  There’s even a Death Cafe Pittsburgh Facebook group among other Death Café Facebook groups around the world.   Death Café started in 2011 in England because the founder and his mother didn’t have a place to talk about death so they decided to change the model.   This seems to be the reason for lots of grassroots activities…change. 

A few days ago I shared my experience with some friends and one of them, an astute businessman, said he didn’t want to talk about death because “when it comes, it comes.”  I’m sure he has a will and financial power of attorney but does he have a medical power of attorney?  Does his wife and adult children know what his wishes are if he is unable to make medical decisions for himself?  He didn’t want to talk about it and the subject was dropped.

The discomfort of talking about the “what ifs” needs to be balanced with the chaos of what might happen if there are no contingency plans.  That’s why I believe in talking about the uncomfortable.  Keeping secrets, burying my head in the sand and ignoring facts is selfish, in my opinion.  What do you think?