Swimming with the Sharks

I’m currently reading The Rainbow Comes and Goes by Anderson Cooper and Gloria Vanderbilt.  It’s conversations between the news reporter, Anderson Cooper, and his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt who is an actress, artist and fashion designer.  One statement popped out for me.  Anderson is writing about his work ethic and his desire for adventure.  He talks about sharks and their need to almost continuously move forward in order to breathe.  He imagines himself “a shark gliding through dark, silent seas.”

Why did this resonate with me?  Maybe because I consider myself a forward thinker, a person who is constantly looking for what lies ahead.  In dragonboating (google the word if it is unfamiliar to you), we are coached to look to the finish line when we practice so it is automatic when we race.  Most life coaches talk about goal setting to help their clients make behavioral changes.  When we stand still for long periods, we are not working toward our goals. 

Yes, we need quiet time to assess, to plan and to evaluate.  But not too long...action is part of the planning.

Organizing, decluttering, cleaning the nooks and crannies of a room, purging clothes and food that is outdated and reassessing the important stuff:  will, healthcare and financial powers of attorney, are all necessary to move forward.    Confession- I found some serious dust bunnies in a corner of a seldom used room during spring cleaning. 

What are you cleaning, organizing?  What can you give away?  Share….

Swedish Death Cleaning

Maybe because I’m tired of the snow and cold, I’m thinking about spring and the inevitable Spring Cleaning.  Or maybe because I’m seeing “Spring Cleaning” tips on magazine covers and on Facebook, I’m thinking about it.  I’m thinking so hard that I decided to postpone my scheduled cleaning activity so I can write this blog!!  That’s called procrastination.

In reality, I saw a post on the NextAvenue.org blog and an article in the AARP magazine on Swedish Death Cleaning.  Döstädning is the Swedish word for Death Cleaning or decluttering your living space while you are still alive. 

One of the more original thoughts in the articles was to get rid of diaries, journals and the like if they contain information that might cause loved ones to be hurt by the words.   And in today’s society, at least in the US, younger people do not want the family heirlooms- grandma’s silverware, Uncle Joe’s collection of cigar bands, records or tapes but no machine to play them on, and so on.  Serious death cleaning involves getting rid of clothing, furniture, keepsakes that one doesn’t need to live out the years s/he has left. 

To tie this all together, I am washing windows and floors, shredding old papers, cleaning cabinets especially in the kitchen and going through clothing.   I will get exercise from the cleaning, and I will toss out dated food.  Charities will get the clothes that no longer “bring me joy”.  I will be lighter.   My mind will be open to new ideas as I clear out the old ideas.  It’s all good!  I’m not labeling this as “Death Cleaning”, rather it is Spring Cleaning.

Join me this spring in decluttering.  Let me know your methods and techniques.  Love the microfiber cloths!

SHREDDING

While I’ve discussed this before, March seems like a good time to review the topic.  As we “do our taxes” we often are left with a mountain- at least a small hill- of papers, receipts, etc.  The Federal Trade Commission has a list of items to be shredded and to be retained.  Go to FTC.gov and search for “shredding”.  And if you don’t want to do that, here’s the list:

Shred immediately:  sales receipts, ATM receipts, paid credit card statements, paid utility bills, credit offers, cancelled checks that are not tax related, and expired warranties.  Comments:  I save receipts until I’m sure I don’t have to return anything- even grocery store receipts.  And I also save utility bills until the end of the year.  I recycle credit card offers- EXCEPT the page with my address. This I tear up immediately.  Note:  If you want to stop receiving credit card offers, visit https://www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t and complete the form.  You can opt out for 5 years or permanently.

Shred after a year: pay stubs, bank statements, and paid, undisputed medical bills.

Shred after 7 years:  tax-related receipts, tax related cancelled checks, W-2s and records for tax deductions taken

Shred car titles after you sell your car(s); shred home deeds after you sell your house(s); shred improvement receipts after your sell the home and pay capital gains taxes.

Keep forever in a safe place (one that is made known to a trusted person): birth certificates, social security cards, marriage or divorce decrees, citizenship papers, adoption papers, death certificates, tax returns.  I also include wills, instructions after death, power of attorney, and other important documents. 

Hope everyone in the US has an easy time with their tax prep.  May you have a lovely refund!!

DECLUTTERING

Not organizing – decluttering.   The word is softer; the action is still hard work.

 

In December ( it’s now mid-February), I decided to organize my photos- not the digital ones- the old fashioned hold- in- your- hand ones.  What an undertaking…I’m only about a quarter of the way through the albums I inherited from my parents and those I created when my kids were young. 

I think decluttering is like home remodeling….it always takes longer than you planned and the costs are greater than the budget. 

I am getting pictures scanned and then I will make photo books for each of my kids.  What I thought would be a one month project will probably be a yearlong project.  And persevere I will.  2018 will be my year of decluttering, organizing, and breathing. 

Tips from professional declutterers (not sure if this is a real word)—

For clothing, look at your clothes and decide if you really like each piece.  If not, give the item away. 

                Put yourself on a 30 day freeze of non-essential purchases.

                Schedule downtime to rejuvenate yourself.

Walk out of your house/apartment/ room.  Then walk back in as if you have never been there before.  Look at your environment through a new lens.  What do you like?  What would you change?  And most important, what would you get rid of?

I also started on my recipe collection.  I’m a recipe clipper.  Newspapers, magazines, online recipes.  And I remember painstakingly putting recipes into notebooks years ago.  Now it’s time to review and pitch.  While I haven’t filled a dumpster yet, I am throwing out recipes that I will never make.  My cooking and baking habits have changed over the years.  So why have I been hanging on to pieces of paper that I will never read?    I have no answer.  For the past few evenings while watching TV, I have been discarding old yellowed recipes and discovering those that have possibilities.  Decluttering is freeing. 

What are you doing to organize your life?  To declutter your life so your path is safe and easily walked on? 

REAL ID for Pennsylvanians

Our local paper ran a story about the REAL ID cards that Pennsylvanians who want to board a domestic airplane and/or enter a federal building will have to have by 2020.  What caused me to take notice was the list of documents one needs to validate who they are so they can be granted the REAL ID card which the federal government recognizes as approved credentials for the general public.  The current PA driver’s license is not a REAL ID. 

As the story goes, beginning in the spring of 2019, Pennsylvanians will need the following documents to obtain a REAL ID:

• Proof of Identity
• Examples: Original or certified copy of a birth certificate with a raised seal or valid U.S. Passport
• Proof of Social Security Number
• Example: Social security card
  *Please note that social security card cannot be laminated or sealed in plastic.
• Proof of all Legal Name Changes
• Examples: Marriage certificate or court order issued by your county's family court
  *Please note: You must show a complete name change history that links your birth certificate name to your current name. If you have a valid U.S. Passport or U.S. Passport Card with your legal name, you may use that as your name change document.
• Two Proofs of Current, Physical PA Address
• Examples: Current, unexpired PA license or ID and a no more than 90-day-old bank statement or utility bill with the same name and address

It is suggested that one wait until the next renewal of your license to get the REAL ID to “avoid the rush”. 

Why am I writing about this now?  This speaks to the essence of what this blog is about…putting your important papers in one safe spot.  If you don’t know where your birth certificate, marriage license, passport and social security number are, schedule an appointment with yourself and make the time to gather the documents sooner rather than later.

For more information about the REAL ID, visit:  http://www.dmv.pa.gov or https://www.dhs.gov and search for REAL ID.   There is a caveat to this new card—if you know you will never board an airplane or enter a federal building then you don’t need the card.  And since none of us have a crystal ball to look into the future, it is best that we be prepared. So get the REAL ID card when it becomes available. 

Photo by Andrew Berlin

Burial at Sea

I thought this only happened when people died on a ship and for whatever reason the body could not be sent back to the mainland or when a ship sank and there were no survivors.  However, a friend sent me a link to www.eternalreef.com.   Interestingly, there is a company that will take cremains and craft the ashes into a memorial reef.  The following is from their website:  For families and individuals that choose cremation, Eternal Reefs offers a unique memorial choice that replaces cremation urns and ash scatterings with a permanent environmental living legacy as a gift to the environment and generations yet to come.

How unique! And for someone who loves the water, this would make sense.  I go back to my mantra- talk to your family or whoever will be taking care of your wishes.  Have the conversation. They are not mind readers.   And one thing can lead to another so that all parties are on the same page after “The Conversation”.  Talking about final wishes will also get ther younger people thinking about their own wishes.  Non one is immune to becoming incapacitated or dying.

Comments or questions?  Please begin a dialogue.

Alternative to Aging

Is there an alternative to aging?  Not in the physical sense of the word. The alternative lies in how we adapt to it. The body reaches peak efficiency at age 30 according to Dr. Nathan W. Shock of the Gerontology Research Center in Baltimore, Maryland.  And as part of the natural process of aging, the body begins to decline.  However, and fortunately there is a “however”, many people will live productive lives well into their 80s and 90s.  University of Kentucky researchers found that 10-12 out of 100,000 Americans will reach their 100^th birthday.  And one-third of them will be physically active, mentally alert, and free of major active disease.

Take a listen to your body.  What is it telling you?  Can you find ways to slow down the changes you see and feel or find ways of positively adapting to them? 

While genetics play an important role in how we age, attitude and mindset are critical.    There’s Tao, the 98 year old yoga instructor; Ida, the 94 year old sprinter; Raj who received a master’s degree in Economics at 98; and Jimmy, the 93 year old 39^th President of the US.  Attitude helps us deal with life’s stressors.  When I see people sitting around, not doing anything but watching TV, I see a lonely life.   Teens who are just “hanging out” and adults who find excuses not to move or who are afraid to move, need to be encouraged to get involved with something - to help ourselves age well.  Finding a social community either through church, work,school, neighborhood, volunteer activity, or community center is crucial for people of any age. 

In addition to community, we need to eat real food and move.  There are thousands of diets in the world and for simplicity and for anyone of any age, if we just ate real food and moved more, we would be healthier and perhaps we could slow the aging process.  Stretching exercises and fruits, vegetables, whole grains and legumes are keys to health.  Take the initiative and search for exercises that you can do even if they have to be done sitting in a chair.  Go to the grocery store and try a new fruit or vegetable even if it is frozen.   Move your legs, your fingers across the keyboard and your mind to search out interesting topics.  That's what I'm doing!!  Join me.