ICE - Not the Frozen Kind

ICE = In Case of Emergency. 

Several years ago I heard a news story about adding an ICE listing to the contact list in my cell phone.  This simple addition can designate a contact to be called- in case of emergency, that is, in the event I am unable to communicate to first responders.  Thanks to Bob Brotchie, a British paramedic, this opportunity to locate a family member or friend for an unresponsive individual is made easier because first responders are supposed to look for the ICE contact.  That is, if your phone does not have a passcode!!

I did not have a passcode for my old phone.  Since I now have grandkids who love playing with phones, I have installed a passcode.  However, I am recommending the use of ICE listings for those who do not have a passcode for their cell phone.  Just another way to be a responsible adult.

You can read about ICE in Wikipedia….en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_case_of_emergency.

Have you ever needed the ICE contact?  Share your experience below.

Photo: Jonas Tana

To Shred or Not to Shred

Consumer Reports published a handy list of documents to shred and to keep.  Much of the information came from the Federal Trade Commission.  I looked for a link but no luck. However, here’s a link to a Consumer Reports article from 2010 that discusses the avalanche of paper we all have: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2010/03/conquer-the-paper-piles/index.htm.  The FTC recommends we keep our tax returns forever.  News to me!!  So I have shredded the tax documentation from more than 7 years ago but kept the copy of the return. 

I know from personal experience how overwhelmed I can feel when I see piles of receipts, bills, paid invoices, letters, and the paper stuff we accumulate.  Sometimes local government officials will sponsor a shredding day so their constituents can bring a certain number of boxes to a central location for shredding.  A small shredder works for me, however, and I can immediately shred old credit cards, and papers that contain my social security number or credit card number. 

And while we can get lost in a sea of paper, we can send ourselves a life preserver by completing the Vital Information Form.  Once the PDF is downloaded, it is easy to copy and paste it into a Word document that will be user friendly.  The VIF can be located in the blog when viewed in your web browser. 

As winter descends, think “great time to get organized”.  Schedule a date with yourself to clean out drawers and files.  Make room for the new.

Image:  Liz West

Being Prepared

Remember the Boy Scout Motto-  Be Prepared?  That's what this blog is really all about.  We need to be prepared for tomorrow because we don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I recently found a website: www.prepareforyourcare.org, a program that helps you make end of life medical decisions.  It is easy to understand and may give you the opportunity to bring up the questions of "what if" to your family members.  Having the talk with those close to you is so important.  A converstaion now can provide guidance to loved ones later.

Of course there is no one size fits all.  The conversation can take many twists and turns.  At first it is awkward and the person or persons with whom you are having the conversation may not want to hear it.  Ask them when a good time would be for a talk.  If the answer is "never", propose that they just listen so you can get your points off your chest.  You can talk about your concerns if you become unable to make medical decisions.  You can also talk about your feelings about organ donation, pain relief, treatment options, and hospitalization vs home.  If these topics are on your mind, start talking. Check out the website and also visit The Conversation Project, http://theconversationproject.org.

George was so upset that his wife did not want further treatment at the end of her life.  They had many conversations about her decision until finally she completed Advanced Directives and checked the box that her decision was final and no one could overrule her.  When there was no recourse, he realized that she was doing what she wanted and he was frightened about losing her.  He realized that this final decision was going to be in her best interest and he would have to face his fear of being alone.  Once that was done, George was better able to support her in the final months of her life.

So talk.  Talk to your children, talk to your spouse/ partner, talk to your friend.  Be Prepared.

Image:  Ron Mader

Family Medical History

“You have cancer.”  Scary words.  That was 9 years ago and all is well.  However, those words have heightened my interest in family medical history.  I was intrigued to learn about a government website: https://familyhistory.hhs.gov.  What I was surprised to learn, after in putting information, was that there was no way to save it or to print it.  While it is useful to see trends, I would have to input all the information again if anything should change (new diagnoses in my living relatives).

I do however, see the value of having a medical history family tree.  Many years ago, as I was updating addresses for my extended family, I asked about medical information.  And as I suspected, very few cousins responded to my inquiry.  Why?  The information is personal and many people don’t want to know if their genes carry a time bomb. I have mixed feelings on this- one the one hand, I would want to know if my kids had a predisposition to any disease because of my family history.  On the other hand, if I could not do anything about the situation, then what good would it do me to know? 

There are also several companies that specialize in online genetic testing.  As I see it, the question is: is the company truly legit and will I get scientific information or is this just another scheme to get me to part with my money. 

Do you have stories to share?  Be a contributor.  We can learn from one another.

 Image: TerraVox

Reviewing my own will

After 8 years it was time to review my own will, financial and health care power of attorney.  So off to the lawyer, Dale Frayer (http://www.frayerlaw.com), I went.  A quick review, a few changes, getting some questions answered, and I am feeling so much better about my future.  The next task is to talk with my family and as they are all over the country, we will do it via a computer video chat.

The most important takeaway from this experience is the Conversation with a capital “C”.  I talked with my husband and my lawyer and soon with my kids about how I want the future to look.  There are no guarantees in life; however, I am trying to cover as many of the bases as I can think of.  And I invite you to share your experiences; we can only benefit from others’ stories.

I also made a decision to review my will, etc. in five years unless a life changing situation occurs earlier.

All the paperwork is not only for taking care of my family after my death, it is also for taking care of them if I become incapacitated.   Too often, people forget about the latter situation.  So if you don’t have a will, financial and health care power of attorney, look into getting them.  There are plenty of online templates- just be sure you select one that will work in the state in which you live.  Or, better yet, find an attorney who specializes in estate planning.

Image: Ken_Mayer

What a Mess!

“What a mess” Susie kept saying when we were talking about the chaos she found after her sister’s death.  Important papers all over the house, unpaid bills, unopened mail stacked in piles on the dining room table.  Kathleen, single, aged 60 and living with mom, had been ill for many years but she seemed to be managing.  Then one day she died in her sleep.  Kathleen was divorced with one grown son.  She was also a loaner and even though she was living with mom, Kathleen kept to herself. 

Mom, 90, struggles to get through the day- physically and emotionally. 

So Susie is left with the responsibility of cleaning up the mess.  She knew there had been a will but had no idea where it was or who the lawyer was.  She called the ex-husband and fortunately, he had a copy.  The funeral home needed the social security number; Susie couldn’t find it.  Mom thought she knew it however she provided an incorrect number which was not discovered until 2 months later when social security denied the burial benefit. 

Though there were no assets to speak of, the hassle of going through bags and bags of mail, contacting people who were owed money and shutting down bank accounts was very stressful.   The aggravation would have been mitigated if Kathleen had taken the responsibility of putting all her important papers in one spot and letting her sister know which box contained crucial information.

It’s been almost a year since Kathleen died and finally all the paperwork has been completed.  A harsh lesson for Susie who is now in the process of getting her own information together so that her husband and children will not have to deal with “a mess”.

If you have not completed the Vital Information Form because you do not have a will, financial power of attorney or health care power of attorney, start today.  Talk to your friends about an attorney or go on line to find forms for these documents.  Make an appointment with yourself to do this.

Image:  flicker.com/photos/readingmytealeaves/

Passbooks

After his grandmother’s death, Shawn’s task was to go through the bedrooms and separate things: save for the family, donate, and toss.  In the top shelf of Sadie’s closet were several shoe boxes. And in those boxes were bank passbooks.  What an ordeal. Some of the banks were no longer in existence, some of the passbooks had been closed, and some could possibly be viable.  After hours of phone calls, Shawn and his brothers finally got things straight.  The total amount of money was not large though it was significant enough to warrant the time and effort needed to identify where the money was and to work with the lawyer to unravel the mystery.  With the help of Sadie’s attorney, the money was distributed to the rightful heirs.  What a hassle for a few hundred dollars! 

And how does this relate to my mission?  Sadie lived through the depression.  She probably was fearful of putting her money in one bank in case the bank failed as it did then.  Life events happened: babies are born, kids go to school, marriages and grandchildren.  Being the full time homemaker and eventual caretaker for her husband, Sadie forgot about all those Passbooks hiding out in the closet.  Don’t let this happen to your family.  They don’t need the aggravation.  Keep all of your important papers in one place- preferably in a fireproof box.  Review the box annually.  Use the Vital Information Form to remind you of your assets.

Image:  Tom Tolkein