SELF CPR

You are home alone after a long day’s work.

If you suddenly start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw, you may be having a heart attack.   You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home but you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.  First, CALL 911 and unlock                             the front door.

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?

     Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. 

    However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. 

    A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

    Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughingmovements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. 

This information was sent to me by a friend two days after several other friends were talking about Self CPR.  And with several people in my world bringing attention to this, I  thought it necessary to share the info with my blog followers.

The symptoms mentioned appear to be for men since women can have other symptoms.  Nonetheless, coughing may save your life. 

Note:  I have also heard that people should chew an aspirin if they feel a heart attack coming on.  Unfortunately, sometimes the medicine is not readily accessible.  

Has anyone had any real life experience with Self CPR?  Please comment in the space below on the web version of The Mindful Files.

Flossing

I hate to floss. I have always hated to floss.  BUT, last year I decided that if I were going to save money, I needed to develop the habit of flossing.  After talking with the dental hygienist, I decided that my way of flossing, while not the best, was the one I could follow.  The 2015-2016 year was going to be an experiment.    The first checkup was good but the dentist told me I needed to floss every day;  I was only doing it a few times a week.  So, with new resolve, I started flossing every morning after brushing my teeth.  Again, not the optimal plan but better than nothing.  I am pleased to say that my next 6 month checkup was much better...keep doing what you are doing the dentist told me.

The point of this rant is the importance of prevention.  Since I no longer had dental insurance, keeping my teeth and gums in good health was necessary to keep costs down.  Yes, I have to pay for my dental checkups and for one cleaning per year and if I keep my teeth and gums healthy, I can save money in the long run by not having the expense of cavities, root canals, etc. 

While I can’t say, statistically speaking, that because I am flossing daily that my dental bills will be smaller over the long run, I can say that I feel virtuous because I am being proactive.  I am doing what I can to have healthy teeth and gums and perhaps to help ward off  heart disease.  The science is not making a correlation between healthy teeth and a healthy heart; however, there seems to be a link.  Could the link be habit related?  People who floss and have twice a year dental checkups may also exercise and eat better, thus reducing their chance for heart disease. So I start off my day with a healthy habit and plan to implement other healthy habits throughout the day.  Yes, plans can go awry.  I have noticed that since my new habit of flossing daily has become second nature, I am thinking more about other healthy habits.  Still working on moving from the thinking stage to the action stage – at least I’m thinking. 

What healthy habits do you have?  Have you tried overnight oats?  This is one of the easiest and most nutritious breakfasts I have ever made.  Google it and create your own variations.  Respond in the comment section on the web version….

I Don't Know Where to Start

The subject was “death”.  The panel was made up of a clergy member, a representative of a funeral home, and a nurse who prepares bodies for burial.  The attendees, about 12 of us, ranged in age from 40s to 80s.  We learned the ins and outs of what happens when someone dies in our community.  Most of the information I knew as I have already preplanned my funeral.  But there is always something to learn or relearn.  There were lots of personal stories shared and I mentioned my blog and passed out cards with the blog address.  As I was leaving, one of the participants came up to me and said she had always wanted to write about her history, her thoughts, etc. and she didn’t know where to start.

Those of us who want to do all things perfectly get stuck in the “never starting” because we may be afraid to fail.  Many people over 50 have boxes of photos in a corner.  Our intention is to label those pictures, and perhaps categorize them so that our family will know who’s who.  And how many of us really get that task started, let alone completed?  And again addressing my initial reason for starting this blog- getting important papers in order and putting them in one place- is another area where people are bogged down.  Many of us think about the problem and we never start addressing it.

My advice to this individual was to start now; don’t wait.  I suggested she go home and begin writing- writing about the meeting and the discussion- what her feelings were about the topic and what her  thoughts are about her spiritual, moral and ethical values.  Just start.  Computer keyboard or pen and paper. Either is fine.  Whatever is more comfortable and whatever makes sense to you is the right way of dealing with the situation.  Just Start.

I wrote down a quote from one of Ellen Goodman’s The Conversation Project newsletters:  “it’s always too soon to have these conversations before it’s too late.”  

Have you started a project that has been sitting for a long time?  What made you take the first step?  Did you complete it in bits and pieces or did you tackle it until it was resolved?  Let me know in the comments on the web version of this blog.

Procrastination

My friend Alice was a vivacious woman.  She always had a smile for me and was delighted by my stories of my grandkids.  Unexpectedly, she died last month.  Alice was a woman who always took care of others- her husband, her kids, her grandkids.  She thought she was invincible.  Not feeling well for a few days, she went to the doctor and was told she had a virus.  Plans to go to a cousin’s wedding were looming; plane tickets and hotel reservations had been made weeks before.  Alice thought like most of us- nothing bad will happen.  Unfortunately, she became very ill on the plane.  Although an ambulance was waiting for her when the plane landed, she died several hours later. 

Her story reaches deeply to my sole.  The lesson:  we don’t know what will happen tomorrow.  And if we want to make things a bit easier for our loved ones- again another caretaking role- we have to allocate time and energy now- not tomorrow. 

Taking time and energy now can also contribute to our own well-being.  Prepping meals for the week, shopping lists, to do lists and reading lists are several helpful ways to help us with the habit of “doing” and not just “thinking”.  I haven’t figured out the entire answer myself.  Yet the divide between thinking and doing can be massive.  Accountability comes into play here.  If I tell someone about my thoughts and commit to a timetable, will I be more inclined to actually take the steps to action?  I guess it depends on the situation.  How do you get yourself to do things that are not urgent?  How do you change the mindset from “I can do it tomorrow” to “I need to do it today”.  Please comment in the web version of this blog.

I have been thinking about labeling my photos and  artwork.  Just a sticky note on the back to tell my kids where it came from or why I bought it could be of interest to them.  And I need to do this now in the event my memory fails later. 

Perhaps enough talking and thinking…action is required now.

For Mothers with Daughters, and Daughters with Daughters

One of my younger friends asked me about my experience with menopause.  To be honest, I don’t remember all the details however, the reason for her question prompted me to contact my doctor and ask for a copy of my medical records.  My friend’s mother passed away many years ago. She has no aunts so she is asking friends.  Her gynecologist told her that women focus on “first periods” and not on “last periods” with their own offspring.    How true.  We may want to forget the experience but for those of us who have daughters, it is important to write down our experience with it.

I don’t even remember my first.  What I do recall is having to write down a date on many, many forms over the years.  What I think happened is that I arbitrarily came up with the year.  Was I really 12 or could I have been 13?   Could I have been 11? There is no one to ask now and I wish I would have kept notes and I certainly wish my mother would have kept notes on me as well as on her own medical issues.  Alas, as with most of the population, there is no one to ask.

In requesting a copy of my records I learned that medical practices may send a summary at no cost to a new practitioner if the patient is changing doctors.  It would cost me well over a dollar a page for my former gynecologist to send me the records and having been with the practice for over 20 years, that would be a lot of money.  Since I changed practices, my former doctor will send the records as a “courtesy.”  And when I have my next appointment I will discuss what information I need to share with my daughters and encourage them to write it down because all my daughters have daughters.

To moms who are reading this and to adult daughters who have daughters:  write it down; don’t leave it to memory.  I remember being told I was “becoming a woman” when I got my period.  Does that mean I stopped being a woman when it ended?  Nonsense.  Many of my friends referred to menopause as “freedom”.  But was having a period, bondage? 

I think each day just “is”.  No adjectives.  I find it interesting that I never considered menopause to be part of my medical history.  Now I do.  

Ethical Will #2

An Ethical Will can provide many answers to questions the family doesn’t know to ask.  Some of these questions can be found in Ethical Wills, A Modern Treasury, by Jack Riemer and Nathaniel Stempfer.   For example: 

            “Who were/are the important people in my life?”

            ”What did I learn from them?”

            “Which events stand out in my memory?”

            “What do I value?”

           “What matters most in my life?”

           “What am I proud of?” 

           “What advice can I give to future generations?”

There are also stories related to objects that will enhance their intrinsic value.  I am looking at a latch hook wall hanging that my niece brought back from Venezuela about 35 years ago.  She spent part of a high school year there.  My kids will not remember her giving it to me but I have enjoyed looking at it these many years and they need to know why it is on the wall.  On my “to do” list is to take sticky notes and write an explanation about some of the objects that are important to me.  While I will do this for the wall hanging as soon as I complete this post, I still need to schedule time to make notes about the other items in my world. 

And we come to the crux of the problem:  how to get over the resistance to doing a behavior.  Making the effort acknowledges the truth- that I will die some day and my things will be passed on or thrown away.  Acknowledging reality and the changes that could make life better- cleaning out a closet, losing weight, spending money or not spending money, etc.  can be scary.  There is an old story that if you ask people to pack up their troubles and go around to others to see which pack they would rather have, they will go back to their own- because it is familiar, regardless of how sad and difficult their lot may be. 

I challenge my readers to make an effort to make one tiny change and when you are successful with that change, make another.  Perhaps sooner, rather than later, you will be able to start on your own version of an ethical will.

Have you started a memoir?  Have you written “wish lists” for your family?  Share your thoughts.

Ethical Will -- Part 1

The first time I heard the term, Ethical Will, I was intrigued.  Was it a legal document?  Would I have to pay an attorney another fee?  Nope!  An Ethical Will can be a story of your life, a wish list of hopes and dreams you have for your loved ones, an explanation of items that will be passed down or any and all of these things.  It makes sense.  How many of us are intrigued by biographies of famous people.  Many people had to write down information about the individual or families had to save letters and documents related to that person for a biographer to come along years later and write the person’s story.

In our current tech world, few of us actually write letters with pen and paper.  Our lives are on our computer.  So it stands to reason that we can use the computer to create an Ethical Will.  A young friend started email accounts for her kids when they were born and she emails them when significant things happen in their lives.   She tells them what it was like when each of her kids  learned to walk, what their first words were, and what holidays were like in their home.  She also talks to them about her dreams for them.  The short emails are about their lives and about their parents’ lives and they will have the stories when they are older.

Another friend writes letters- on paper- to her kids on their birthdays telling them about their successes and challenges of the year and what her hopes and dreams are for the coming year.  She keeps the letters in her fireproof safe. 

The best definition I have read for an Ethical Will is that it is a document that stresses Values over Valuables.  It can be a personal mission statement.  It can also include family history including stories that were passed down to you but were never written down.  Yes, it takes time…a lot of time.  But it is an incredible legacy to pass down to future generations. 

To be continued…..