Ethical Will #2

An Ethical Will can provide many answers to questions the family doesn’t know to ask.  Some of these questions can be found in Ethical Wills, A Modern Treasury, by Jack Riemer and Nathaniel Stempfer.   For example: 

            “Who were/are the important people in my life?”

            ”What did I learn from them?”

            “Which events stand out in my memory?”

            “What do I value?”

           “What matters most in my life?”

           “What am I proud of?” 

           “What advice can I give to future generations?”

There are also stories related to objects that will enhance their intrinsic value.  I am looking at a latch hook wall hanging that my niece brought back from Venezuela about 35 years ago.  She spent part of a high school year there.  My kids will not remember her giving it to me but I have enjoyed looking at it these many years and they need to know why it is on the wall.  On my “to do” list is to take sticky notes and write an explanation about some of the objects that are important to me.  While I will do this for the wall hanging as soon as I complete this post, I still need to schedule time to make notes about the other items in my world. 

And we come to the crux of the problem:  how to get over the resistance to doing a behavior.  Making the effort acknowledges the truth- that I will die some day and my things will be passed on or thrown away.  Acknowledging reality and the changes that could make life better- cleaning out a closet, losing weight, spending money or not spending money, etc.  can be scary.  There is an old story that if you ask people to pack up their troubles and go around to others to see which pack they would rather have, they will go back to their own- because it is familiar, regardless of how sad and difficult their lot may be. 

I challenge my readers to make an effort to make one tiny change and when you are successful with that change, make another.  Perhaps sooner, rather than later, you will be able to start on your own version of an ethical will.

Have you started a memoir?  Have you written “wish lists” for your family?  Share your thoughts.